I’m back in the states. I’m a bit overwhelmed, but I can’t tell why. There are a few things that I could be overwhelmed by. Maybe it’s the differentness of American culture from what I got used to being overseas for a year, or maybe it’s the refills, the ice, the air-conditioner, or the way everyone speaks english around me. Could it be the pace of life? Or maybe the fact that my sister gets married on Friday? I don’t know, but it’s a lot. I tried my best to prepare for being here, but in a lot of ways you just can’t. I remember thinking the more and more I got used to being in Slovakia - how hard it would be to transition back, but I didn’t know exactly how.

What’s more is that I feel like I cheated you on a Serbia update, because it was amazing, God really showed up and brought His A-game. I saw Him work in our students lives and change us all towards stepping out in faith and relying on Him to direct our paths. Being in Serbia, was for me, an excellent time so that I could focus on “being fully there” till the very end. Two days after the Serbia experience, I got on a plane and flew all the way home, with a missed flight in Chicago, and a long runway experience. I guess all of that comes with flying internationally.

Now that I’m home I’m working on wedding stuff for my sister, Kirby, who gets married this Friday! I’m real excited for her. I’m glad to be here to help. It’s been really hard to not be a part of helping her plan because I’ve been overseas.

But, jumping back in is hard, especially this fast. I feel like I don’t know really where I fit, or where I belong - or if I belong anywhere. Things that I remember being so good, aren’t really that good to me anymore. For example, I had a chik-fil-a milkshake the other day (with all of its millions of calories) and I didn’t really even like it. It wasn’t that good, it kind of even made me feel sick to my stomach. The things I thought I missed aren’t really as good as I remembered. It’s funny how distance and time can do that to you. How the good sifts to the top, and you don’t really remember the bad things, or the difficult things.

The most difficult thing I think is the lack of time people have to spend time talking and helping me process through life as -is, I think there is a tendency in all of us to say, “it will all just work out.” But, what if it doesn’t. Or, what if it doesn’t at the speed that you think it will. Maybe this is the hardest.

Hard, but good? I guess so.

i keep reading and rereading these verses i think this is because it speaks to the core of how i need to be thinking and living. Paul, the writer of Philippians, has just finished giving all of his credentials, he even says “I could have confidence in myself if anyone could,” proving that this guy has some substance to his words by listing his family’s history (pure-blooded Jewish fam, from the tribe of Benjamin) then he lists his personal achievements (member of the Pharisees and even persecuted the Christian church!, and followed the Jewish law without fault), it’s not just idle talk. Then, he says this:

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

Philippians 3:7-9

i don’t know about you, but that kicks my tail. i think I shall memorize these verses.

On Sunday, I checked my staff account and noticed that my balance was a bit low due to conferences expenses that all seemed to be withdrawn within the same pay check period, I was alarmed and immediately started freaking out - only in my mind, and then just yesterday as I was walking home I found this on the ground.

This is a 20 krown bill, which is worth about $1 now. It’s as if God is saying, “I’ll provide for you, right where you are, just trust me.”

The following verses have a completely new meaning to me, especially in the first sentence or two - if I knew every language without learning them, given the toil and sacrifice of hours my team is making to learn Slovak, and the difficulty of understanding cases and adjective endings and future tense and past tense and koho/?o, and all of the vocabulary. But what if I automatically knew all of these things without having to learn it, it would mean absolutely nothing without love.

If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise. If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all about what is going to happen in the future, knew everything about everything but didn’t love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so that I couls speak to a mountain and make it move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love. If I gave everything I have to poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the Gospel but didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatsoever.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Here is the main conference room, where we heard three talks a day, from speakers like Roland Helsten, Erik Thoennes, Larry Thompson, Steve Douglas, as well as others who have served long term in Eastern Europe and Russia. but like any good conference there was time to hang by the lake and play on the swingsas well as spending time with friends serving all over the world! Here are some friends in Israel, Croatia, Serbia, and Bosnia.

I’m in Hungary now, as I have been for the past week and a half. Before this conference I was at my stint Midyear and now I’m at a conference in Tihany, Hungary (about 2 hours from Budapest) with about 1200 people, national staff, international campus staff (ICS), and stinters. There are 19 countries represented here at the conference and it truly is a taste of heaven.

It’s been fun to hear of the stories of life change that God is producing all over this area. I am increasingly aware of the fact that God is at work even when we can’t see it. I feel encouraged.

I feel hopeful for the salvation of Slovaks, Czechs, Croatians, Serbs, Russians, Israelis, Romanians, Ukrainians, Bosnians, and others.

Just the other day I heard a story of 35 students coming to Christ in Russia and 100 in the Ukraine. I feel truly amazed and blessed to be a part of a ministry that is so deeply committed to evangelism, discipleship, and multiplication. The process which has the name; movement building.

We’ve heard talks by speakers who have a deep passion and desire for us to understand the doctrine tucked inside the gospel. Which takes us back to the essential core of who we are as believers. I believe that we do need to preach the gospel to ourselves daily. I’m not so good at doing this type of thing. But, I do believe, if I’m ever going to really succeed in a lifetime of ministry, I will need to develop a deeper understanding of the gospel and who I am because of Christ. Isn’t this what we all need to get back to?

I’ve been so encouraged by the Global Leadership of Campus Crusade. As an Area of Affairs (including Eastern Europe, Russia, and Israel) there has been a general expression of our need to depend on God. That as an organization we need to get on our knees together and petition before the One who is able and ask in His name for the salvation of these countries in which we are serving.

In a global context songs like, “You Said” those that we tend to not sing any more, really get to the very core of what I feel like my heart is crying out.

“You said, ask and you will receive, whatever you need. You said, your glory will fill the earth like water the sea. Ask and I’ll give the nations to you, Oh Lord, that’s the cry of my heart, distant shores and the islands will see your light as it rises on us.”

I’ve really enjoyed the worship here. The other day we sang “Holy, Holy, Holy” each of us in our own language. It was a beautiful chorus that struck deep within me, my heart felt so encouraged by the reality that one day in heaven, we’ll listen and see something much more glorious, but it was a taste and at this point I’m very thankful.

Currently, I’m sitting on a train typing this on the way from Bratislava going to Kosice. We just passed a large castle in a place called Trencin, I write that mainly to remember it if I ever want to stop off again. But also, to highlight the fact that passing castles on trains is normal now. We’ve been traveling for over a week now. Last week we went to a conference in Senec, Slovakia which is somewhere near Bratislava. I don’t attempt to know, I just usually get on a train and pray that I have a seat. Which, funny you should ask, on this train we didn’t have seat reservations. Not only that, but we somehow bought a train ticket for the wrong type of train and so, here we are on the train, and ticket lady comes by telling me we have a reservation for the wrong train (all in Slovak). How am I supposed to know what to do in a situation like this? Apparently you pay the difference and get another type of long receipt ticket. Life is adventure here, everyday.
This train ride is the last leg of our travel, we’ve been to Bratislava, Senec, and Rome. One of these cities is not like the other. We hopped a plane to Rome, which got us there in about 2 hours. My team met up with some friends from the Sweden team, Lindsey and Ryan. Their holiday travels include Rome (with us), Paris, and London. I’m not quite sure I could pack all of that into one trip.
I loved Rome. There is so much history crammed into that one city that I can’t even attempt to take it all in during one visit. Being there made me wish I had retained more from History and Latin class.
Our first day we saw the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish steps, Colosseum, the Roman Forum, and the Emperor’s Palace. This is a good traveling tip, take tours whenever you go somewhere with this much history. We payed something like 19 Euros (27 dollars) for a tour of the Colosseum , the Forum, and the Palace, which was incredibly worth it. We learned a lot about spectators in the Colosseum, and our tour guide even invited us to see his personal butterfly collection when it was all over. I can’t say that we took him up on his offer.
That night, I ventured with Matt, Ryan, and Aaron to the Pantheon to see it at night. During our trip we ran across the American Embassy which inspired us to sing a medley of Patriotic songs through the streets of Rome all the way to our hostel. The second day we went to the Pantheon to see it in the day-time, and actually go inside. The Pantheon is an immense building with huge columns guarding its entrance. Inside there is a huge hole in the ceiling and when it rains, the water drains into 22 tiny holes in the marble floor. Then we went to one of the famous Piazza’s to enjoy the market and to eat outside in a café! This was a delight to me because we were outside, in December, in a café, eating real Italian Pizza, in Rome! It was too much to take in at times that we were really there. That night we headed back to the Trevi fountain where there was filming going on, the type of thing us Wilmingon-ites are used to. We then went to another Piazza with yet another market. It felt like home! We said goodbye to Lindsey and Ryan hopefully to see them later in our STINT year (a girl can hope).
And then there were 5. We went to Vatican city during our third day. This was quite an adventure. I got the audio guide during my tour of the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican Museum. I could hardly believe all of the statues, the history, the Egyptian sarcophaguses and the culture that has collected over the years. Once again an audio guide for only 5 euros, made the 13 euro entrance into the Vatican completely worth it. Sure, without it, it would have been really cool, but just having a bit of information makes these types of visits come alive for me. Inside there are elaborate paintings by Van Gogh, Michelangelo (his most famous Last Judgment in the Sistine Chapel) as well as Rafael. In this picture you can see Rafael’s talent at making paintings come to life, these are paintings on the wall, not statues.

There is so much to learn about these frescos and I tried to do it as fast as I could by staring at them overtaking the chapel. To me, it’s so amazing that when Pope Julius commissioned Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo didn’t feel confident in his painting ability and told the Pope that he would rather sculpt. It took him 6 years to finish the ceiling and 4 to finish the Last Judgment. I think we have a lot to learn from this. In fact, I think we have a lot to learn from the Catholic church in general. Sure, there may occasionally be doctrinal issues, but the way the Catholic church (at least then) embraced culture and art, I think really ministered to society of the time. I think it still does today, that’s why things like Solarium, Story of the Soul, and sharing our “stories’ works well today. It’s not a new idea, the church has been doing it for thousands of years. Not only this, but we could all stand to try new things, and discover new talent, to not be afraid of the unknown and to learn from Michelangelo’s perseverance.
After our visit to the Vatican Museum we went to St.Peter’s basilica, this is where the Pope speaks, in that really big square, with fountains, and marble, and even very large screens and a sound system that would rival any sound stage today.
In all of these visits to these historical places I really enjoyed the privilege of being able to see these places in real life. My team spoke about how amazing it is that you see these places in textbooks, but when you see them in real life, it makes you crave knowledge, it makes you want to know everything about all of these places. Which is unfortunately impossible in one trip, but is doable over time.
During our travels (and in less than a week) I read 2 books, To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller and The Big Love by Sarah Dunn. It really makes me wonder if I would always read like that if I didn’t have the internet to distract me.
Our flight to Bratislava got in just late enough that we couldn’t make the last IC (fast train) back to Kosice, so we stayed the night in Bratislava at John and Amy Russell’s home. They have a beautiful home and 2 really cute children. This morning we got up and took a commuter train from the train station near their home to the main train station, where we bought tickets to travel on the train that I’m currently on typing this blog.
Up next we’re having Christmas in Kosice, and we’re planning to make a big feast, things to that will make us feel like it’s really Christmas. We’ll also head to Brad and Karla’s, two missionaries here, with their kids for a family meal! Then, on the 28th we’re going to our Winter Conference in central Slovakia. It will be a joyous time. Our theme mirrors that of the Midsouth’s, Encounter, except ours is “Tvarou v Tvar” which is the closest translation of Encounter in Slovak but literally means “face to face.” I am excited about that time which I am praying will propel the movement here forward.
On January 12th, Jeremy and Dara will get married in the huge church on Hlavna in Kosice and the next day (the 13th) we’ll head out to go to our STINT midyear conference and then to the last of the 4 conferences, Area of Affairs conference. Both of these conferences are in Hungary, somewhere near each other. I’m praying for refreshment during these times even though travel can be somewhat wearing especially by train.
Enjoy these videos and pictures that I’ll put on facebook and flickr for your viewing pleasure.
If you learn anything from reading this blog, I would say this, travel as much as you can (get a tour guide), travel as cheaply as you can, bring a good book and pack light. It’s worth it. Anyone can be comfortable, anyone can stay home, but you were made to fly. So spread your wings.

Currently listening to: Love Song by Sara Barallies

Currently Reading: Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne

I haven’t given you a real blogging update in awhile. I think that is because I’ve realized the value of making videos, you watch them, you like them. Give the people what they want! There is still a part of me that cries out to write! So here we go.

We have about 2 more weeks of ministry left. This is sad to me because things are really starting to pick up. Tomorrow night two girls are coming over to watch a movie and on Thursday afternoon after high school lets out we’re having girls over to watch Step Up which was really big here when it came out. Apparently these girls love hip hop, so watch out, I might be choregraphing some dances for them to learn, it may take me back to my college days. Hog callin’ and Stunt. Oh boy.

I challenged a girl here to discipleship in Presov. I think this will be really a great relationship to build with her, and I’m praying that God will use her on her campus to reach those around her for Christ. Yesterday was a really encouraging day because while in Presov, Matt and Aaron were together doing solarium and Carlyn and Shannon were going into the dorm to see if they could meet with a girl. Since I was by myself during this time, I decided to see if I could meet some girls on my own. I walked up to these two girls, and just asked them if they spoke english, after about 2 minutes, they said to me “don’t you want a chair?” and so I pulled up a chair and proceeded to talk with them for the next 30 minutes.

A lot of cool stuff is happening. Just this morning we were talking as a team about what we’re learning about God’s character and without a doubt I’m learning a ton about His faithfulness. I think this is helpful to know that even though I’ll go through times of difficulty, it’s all for a reason, to learn why I’ve been through that is more for character development than it is for anything else. This reminds me of Philippians 1:6, that being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I find myself being very thankful right now for where I am, for what God has taught me, what He is teaching me, and trusting that He will lead me to the next thing that He has for me.

I will probably need to blog soon about all of the things that have happened to me, less I forget, and I really don’t want to do that. But, wow, it’s really crazy and fun. I’m only reminded of how different my life is here when I talk to my American readers. Let’s just say it’s become a running joke with my team that I’m not sure when I’ll get to go to Hungary again, since for awhile I was going once a week. I know in a few years I’ll look back on this post and laugh, or maybe be amazed. Either way, life here is different but it somehow becomes really normal. Already I’ve gotten quite used to the colder weather. It’s -4 celcius and it feels normal to me.

Before I close out this post, just know that I am thankful for each of you who read this blog, watch my videos, and comment on them. It makes me feel so loved! It also makes me realize the power of media and the likelihood that many people would rather watch a video than read a blog. If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably not the person I’m talking about.

For now, here are a few pictures of thanksgiving in praha.

my team at buffalo bills for thanksgiving dinner. (left to right) Aaron, Matt, Shannon, Carlyn, and me.

Me, Yasmin, and Katie eating my 2nd thanksgiving dinner in Prague at my hostel with friends I’d never met.
Who can even believe it’s November 28th? More on how time flies next time.

These are girls that I am trusting God with that I will be able to build a relationship with them and share the gospel with.

Bozeny (dorm)

Lenka and Ivonka - they are two girls that came to our Talk it Out (english) class in the dorm. They are eager to get to know us, it’s really fun to be able to build a relationship with them. Pray for their salvation and that we’ll continue to build relationships.

Ferka Urbanka (dorm)

Annie- she is a girl we met one night inviting people to Talk it Out. She speaks really great english, and the first day we met her she said “I will make time for you.” This NEVER happens. So pray that we’ll be able to naturally invite her to stuff.

Vet School (dorm)

Lucia and Klara-I was able to get into a spiritual conversation with them one day in their dorm room. Hopefully I’ll be meeting with them again next week.  Pray for me to be bold in sharing the gospel and to be able to build a good friendship with them.

These are the 3 locations where I am currently working. Thanks for praying. It means so much.

Here is my september prayer letter

including

-stint briefing

-arrival in slovakia

-prayer requests

I hope you enjoy reading it.