I feel like God did this. There really isn’t any other way to describe what has gone on since my return to America. So many things, have just really come together. Things that I never thought would. I’ll give you the brief run down of things that I see God providing me with. A roommate, an apartment (in a place I thought I’d never be able to really live), friends, a car, a job, verbal affirmation, friends to help me move in both Raleigh and in Wilmington, an iphone, and community. God is so very, very gracious. I feel overwhelmed that He chooses to provide for me in such real and tangible ways.

I’m so overwhelmed with all kinds of thankfulness and truth. I’m glad to be in this season, where I am, enjoying life, and in many ways so glad for all that God has done in my life so far.

The past month has brought on some hard realities about returning to America - missed out inside jokes, shared experiences, and just a general feel that I was really really gone, and life here went on. It’s harder now than it was when I first returned and I think that’s because the honeymoon phase has faded and I’m now entering into some crazy realities of what you experience as a returned missionary.

But there’s a lot going on in my life, and no one around me denies it. Most understand it and give me grace to live.

I’m getting settled into my new apartment and I’m loving it. I can’t wait to have friends over and make this a home!

This is not coincidence, none of it. I recognize all of this as full provision from Jesus. I’m so thankful and the full reality that I don’t deserve any of this is sweeping over me like a rushing river.

i keep reading and rereading these verses i think this is because it speaks to the core of how i need to be thinking and living. Paul, the writer of Philippians, has just finished giving all of his credentials, he even says “I could have confidence in myself if anyone could,” proving that this guy has some substance to his words by listing his family’s history (pure-blooded Jewish fam, from the tribe of Benjamin) then he lists his personal achievements (member of the Pharisees and even persecuted the Christian church!, and followed the Jewish law without fault), it’s not just idle talk. Then, he says this:

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

Philippians 3:7-9

i don’t know about you, but that kicks my tail. i think I shall memorize these verses.

I’m reading Acts straight through and there are so many things that I’m learning and wanting to change about the way I operate in ministry. The early church inspires me to proclaim the gospel boldly here in Slovakia and everywhere I go. I recently heard a talk from Eric Theonnes, about being gospel people. I remember this talk so specifically, it was the first day of the area staff conference and I was wiped out, I fell asleep in the middle of the talk. So, why am I writing about a talk that I fell asleep in the middle of, well to highlight the fact that ministry is exhausting and that even if you fall asleep, people remember good talks. I also remember this talk because in Biba’s notes there are only a few things in English, she tells me that she just writes which ever comes first to her (English, Slovak, I guess this could include other languages in her repertoire) she had written, “we are gospel people but we live in a performance world.” This is so true, isn’t it. We’ve been completely set free by the power of Christ’s blood on the cross and ressurection, yet we live like we have something to prove. Something in the midst of our desperate need for grace, mercy and truth. I’m amazed by this in my own character but also as I read through Acts, I notice how these people in the early church were people of the gospel. There are things said like, “and each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:47) In Acts 2, there is an intense (by our standards today) definition of community,

“A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity - all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:43-47)

(and I didn’t even copy that from biblegateway.com)

So, in reading things like this, and in thinking on the character of my community in which I currently live, I have a lot of changing to do. I think the thing that probably sticks out to me the most is the fact that I am so selfish. Especially living here and in receiving things from America, I want to hold on so tightly to them, because I can’t just go out and get them anywhere, but that prevents community, it doesn’t foster it.

I’m reading so many great books right now, more on that later. So, in my currently reading section, don’t get overwhelmed, I’m just a sponge right now, and in a position (please note the word choice) to hear from the Lord. I want to know where He wants me next year and so I’m asking Him about that a lot, which will soon, no doubt inspire a fast. Which, unfortunately, is not a spiritual discipline that I am used to.

Currently Reading:

Acts

Currently Listening to:

Through the Static, Jack Johnson, released today, find it on itunes

I’m in Hungary now, as I have been for the past week and a half. Before this conference I was at my stint Midyear and now I’m at a conference in Tihany, Hungary (about 2 hours from Budapest) with about 1200 people, national staff, international campus staff (ICS), and stinters. There are 19 countries represented here at the conference and it truly is a taste of heaven.

It’s been fun to hear of the stories of life change that God is producing all over this area. I am increasingly aware of the fact that God is at work even when we can’t see it. I feel encouraged.

I feel hopeful for the salvation of Slovaks, Czechs, Croatians, Serbs, Russians, Israelis, Romanians, Ukrainians, Bosnians, and others.

Just the other day I heard a story of 35 students coming to Christ in Russia and 100 in the Ukraine. I feel truly amazed and blessed to be a part of a ministry that is so deeply committed to evangelism, discipleship, and multiplication. The process which has the name; movement building.

We’ve heard talks by speakers who have a deep passion and desire for us to understand the doctrine tucked inside the gospel. Which takes us back to the essential core of who we are as believers. I believe that we do need to preach the gospel to ourselves daily. I’m not so good at doing this type of thing. But, I do believe, if I’m ever going to really succeed in a lifetime of ministry, I will need to develop a deeper understanding of the gospel and who I am because of Christ. Isn’t this what we all need to get back to?

I’ve been so encouraged by the Global Leadership of Campus Crusade. As an Area of Affairs (including Eastern Europe, Russia, and Israel) there has been a general expression of our need to depend on God. That as an organization we need to get on our knees together and petition before the One who is able and ask in His name for the salvation of these countries in which we are serving.

In a global context songs like, “You Said” those that we tend to not sing any more, really get to the very core of what I feel like my heart is crying out.

“You said, ask and you will receive, whatever you need. You said, your glory will fill the earth like water the sea. Ask and I’ll give the nations to you, Oh Lord, that’s the cry of my heart, distant shores and the islands will see your light as it rises on us.”

I’ve really enjoyed the worship here. The other day we sang “Holy, Holy, Holy” each of us in our own language. It was a beautiful chorus that struck deep within me, my heart felt so encouraged by the reality that one day in heaven, we’ll listen and see something much more glorious, but it was a taste and at this point I’m very thankful.

Happy New Year! I hope you are doing well. It’s so hard for me to believe that I am halfway through my year here in Slovakia. I am really thankful for all that God has taught me over the course of these 5 months. Since mid-December we’ve been to 2 conferences (Slovakia Staff Conference and Winter Conference) and we head out on Monday for conference #3 (STINT midyear) and #4 (Area of Affairs) in Hungary! In this update I explain the conferences and all that God did at our recent winter conference. Thanks for your prayers and support. It humbles me as I think of your dedication to the gospel.

You can find the update here.

I got back from winter conference yesterday. Shannon and I were joking about how this was the rustic version of winter conference. Compared to the Midsouth’s at the 4 seasons in Greensboro, NC. When we showed up, it was very cold, outside and in. It takes awhile for a radiator to heat up a place and so by the end of our conference it wasn’t as bad. Let’s just say at the first meeting most of us were wearing our coats and gloves. The first night I slept in 3 layers. It made me feel like I was camping the entire time. God really showed up, he brought 30 students. I heard students say things like, “I learned how to have a quiet time here” or “I learned how to pray with others” or about being in community with believers and how different we are to be around. One guy, Ivan, in my discussion group, told us that he doesn’t know God, but that he can tell we do by the way we interact with each other. It’s such a testimony to Jesus living in us! I give Him complete credit, for all that He has done and is doing in Slovakia. Thank you so much for praying. I’m really excited about next semester.

Here is a video of Matt singing a Michael Jackson classic at winter conference. I couldn’t resist blogging this.

[vimeo 465702]

Happy New Year!

I made it through my first ever Christmas abroad. For the most part, I’ve really started to feel like this is home. I have pictures on the walls of my friends, decor that I put there myself. I’ve made a few trips to Ikea for me to start really feeling like this is home. But the reality is, this isn’t home, neither is Cary, NC. Home is somewhere else altogether, and I long for the day when I go There.

There are times here when I forget that I don’t speak the language of 99% of people that surround me in buses, on trams, walking down the street. When I go to the grocery store and there is an international section, which strangely, all of a sudden includes me. I am an international here.

Christmas was good. The American part of our team cooked up a big feast last night, and today we had real American pancakes for breakfast with syrup! (you can’t buy syrup here in a normal size bottle for less than $20). We also watched the christmas service from my church in it’s entirety, because it’s online! Then we watched Elf and Hairspray. Tonight we had dinner and watched It’s a Wonderful Life at the Theissens, a family here that serves with International Messengers. They have the coolest ministry. Tonight, there was a mother and a daughter that joined us from Afghanistan. How cool is that?

I talked to my mom a couple of times between yesterday and today and I haven’t talked with anyone else yet because we have only one magical american phone and someone is using it right now. But, I did receive several voicemails and I’m really thankful for them. I feel so loved. So thank you Renn&Roger, Su-Anne, Lauren, and Kirby I do appreciate them.

My mom shipped over a package full of gifts and it is here in Kosice, even if not yet in my possesion (although curiously enough, the package slip went to the guys place instead of to mine). I went yesterday morning early to try to pick it up, but the place was closed, and tomorrow Slovakia celebrates a 2nd Christmas day, so it will be closed again then.

I’ll get it eventually. In the words of my mom, “presents are presents any day I suppose.” And really, it helps to not get so many gifts on Christmas. It helped me to focus on the point of Christmas. Which is Jesus. The fact that Jesus came into the the world, all so that He could save us from sin. I love what Isaiah has to say about the coming of the Messiah.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

I have some videos and pictures from the Christmas festivities that I’ll add later. For now I think it’s time to sleep. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

look at all that food! this is from Christmas Eve in my flat.

today was the first time i have seen the sun in about 2 weeks. it was good to see you sun. but now, it’s 4:28pm and the sun has already set and outside my window it is complete darkness. outside my window i can see the business centrum (a large business building) and i can see straight into their windows. people are working in their offices. lights are turning off and i guess some are packing up to head home for the day.

it’s been warmer lately but it has also been raining a lot. 41 degrees yesterday, 39 today.

we leave tomorrow morning on a train to bratislava and then we go from there to a nearby town called Senec. On Monday the American portion of my team is leaving to go to Rome. I’ve never been to Italy so I am quite excited.

as i near into 4 months here, i find myself being thankful for where God has brought me. all that He has taught me. how to depend on Him more fully. my appreciation of my friends. that a year is not that long, learning to make the most of every opportunity. learning how shallow i am at times. the value of learning new culture and language.  the importance of dreaming. how much i love creativity. what it means to be poor in spirit. what it means to trust God. that i have really good friends. the importance of laughter. the importance of community. this is just a short list.

tonight we have dinner as a team to celebrate the semester. i can’t believe it’s over. these past 2 months have flown by, and i can’t imagine how fast the next 6 will go. i’m almost half way through with my time here and that seems really hard to believe.

the next time i talk to you if i say slovak words instead of english please know it’s becoming a normal thing. the language is almost fully integrated into my vocabulary. even to the point where i am forgetting some english. i’ll need to relearn some things.

i’ll be blogging from Rome. so be on the look out.

for now, my latest pictures

Ever since I’ve arrived in Slovakia, it’s been quite difficult to shake the reality of distinct racism. There is a culture here called ‘roma’ or gypsy. You know the phrase, “I got gyped” well, it’s a racial slur relating to this people group I’m about to attempt to explain to you. Really my source is wikipedia, I can’t lie. I found out from said source that this people group migrated from India and there are somewhere from 12 to 15 million of them, but no one can be absolutely sure because they about their race because of the racism that exists. This culture is spread out from India all the way to Western Europe. They are easily recognizable; they have dark features and usually look pretty ragged. You can find them going through trash cans to find something to eat (trash from my apartment even), begging on the street, or even huffing window cleaner (as seen on one of our first days here).

I’m not sure I have any clue how to take all of this in. These people are beautiful, made in the image of God- and live like rats, well almost.

They live in ghettos in different spots around town. I’ve heard stories of these buildings that were built for gypsys to live in and they have moved in and trashed the place. Selling anything that would make them a krown. These villages look like war zones in a third world country. I’m not exaggerating.

As I write this I’m nearly in tears, but this isn’t rare. I often tear up when I think about this gypsy culture. I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, ” whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me.” I think I get it.

The least of these.

I went to Budapest by train and a woman was begging at the ticket station. Her hand was curled up in the begging position, a wound on her forehead with dried blood, and an old coat around her shoulders. No doubt, I didn’t speak her language (try any of the options Hungarian, Roma, or Slovak) but this is not an excuse. She was waiting for left over change from ticket buyers. I don’t know how many forint (this is the Hungarian currency) I had on me at the time but surely I could have spared a few or bought her lunch. As I walked by her she grabbed my arm and I turned my head away. I still can’t believe I did that. I just don’t know what I should do in those situations, but I know what I did was not right, at all. I’m ashamed to write this, but hope that you might identify.

I’ve heard people say that if you give homeless people money they will buy alcohol. Or if you try to give them food they won’t take it. I’m not sure these excuses are good enough for me anymore. As I was on my way to Budapest on this very same trip I was reading Irresistable Revolution (again) a book by Shane Claiborne, whose battle cry is the church learning to love the homeless. The church is not living, is not loving, as the church should. He is right. We are so out of touch with a hungry, hurting, dying world.

Even as I write this the Dalit Hymn popped on my ipod. “Free the Dalit, free the Dalit, Prime Minister Free the Dalit” How appropriate. Do you know of the Dalit?

The couple that runs our language school, Brad and Karla Theissen, are here with an organization called International Messengers. They have a ministry with the roma people. They teach them vocational things like how to sew and also practical things like how to read. Fascinating. They’ll go into these villages and show the Jesus film (which is the only film in the Roma language) and hundreds of them will come to Christ, but the next day its back to the same lifestyle. They’ve never seen the Christian life lived out. Why? Because no one is in there living it with them, showing them how to live. Would you know how to live the Christian life if you’d never seen anyone do it? Would you be encouraged in your faith if there were no other Christians around you, no resources, no podcasts, no worship in your language, no pastors, nothing. This is reality.

In Claiborne’s book, he mentions a story about a wealthy church in town who mailed a box to help, even with good intentions, to Claiborne and his friends efforts to conquer a challenge to keep the homeless from being kicked out of an abandoned cathedral. He was excited the package had arrived and found only its contents to be microwave popcorn. This church really thought the tent city had microwaves or even electricity. We’re fooling ourselves. We don’t really know what God has called us to. How He’s called us to live. Wake up heart. Wake up church. There is a hurting, dying, shivering, wounded world next door.

Feeding the homeless one Saturday a month is a good step. But that’s not it. God calls us to more. To sacrifice. I need to figure out what He’s doing in my heart and follow Him. I long to follow Him. To live with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all.

stop sending microwave popcorn.

These are girls that I am trusting God with that I will be able to build a relationship with them and share the gospel with.

Bozeny (dorm)

Lenka and Ivonka - they are two girls that came to our Talk it Out (english) class in the dorm. They are eager to get to know us, it’s really fun to be able to build a relationship with them. Pray for their salvation and that we’ll continue to build relationships.

Ferka Urbanka (dorm)

Annie- she is a girl we met one night inviting people to Talk it Out. She speaks really great english, and the first day we met her she said “I will make time for you.” This NEVER happens. So pray that we’ll be able to naturally invite her to stuff.

Vet School (dorm)

Lucia and Klara-I was able to get into a spiritual conversation with them one day in their dorm room. Hopefully I’ll be meeting with them again next week.  Pray for me to be bold in sharing the gospel and to be able to build a good friendship with them.

These are the 3 locations where I am currently working. Thanks for praying. It means so much.