It doesn’t get any easier - I still have to depend on Him, I still have to carve out priority time to spend with God, and to live a well-balanced life with healthy boundaries. None of these things necessarily come easy to me.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve blogged, there have been a few too many things going on, and I haven’t been able to really process it all. I’m looking forward to processing some things, soon. I need to rest in the Lord, and not take confidence in myself or anything I’ve accomplished. I recognize that all this, this life - is from Him. I don’t deserve it, but He is gracious enough to give me each breath I breathe.

I’m praying for sunshine on the otherside of this noreaster (a mini-hurricane thats whirling outside my window much tougher than Hanna ever attempted to be) for time in the ocean once more before fall takes it’s full course - after all I just bought 2 new boogie boards, not even 3 weeks ago!

Oh also, before it goes public - I thought I’d share with you, as is appropriate, my bio - on these first 28 years of life, this will eventually go up on the port city church website, but until then you can bask in it’s edited glory (thanks Corey).

Born and raised in Cary, North Carolina, Kelly Cain lived in the same house until she pursued further education at Meredith College in Raleigh, North Carolina. She proceeded to graduate in 2003 with a Communication degree. Kelly occupied her college years by leading various campus events, such as: Cornhuskin’ and Stunt (choreographed events, believe it or not), literal corn husking, apple bobbing, prop design, and a parade to boot.
After graduation, Kelly joined the staff team of a campus ministry that God used to change her life while in college. That same campus ministry brought her to Wilmington where she worked on UNCW’s campus for two years. In the summary of 2007, Kelly moved to Slovakia as a missionary for a year, took 200 hours of Slovak, line-danced, and learned to ride public transportation as a way of life. Kelly now loves being back in Wilmington and a part of all God is doing here at Port City where she currently works with a growing and enthusiastic team of greeters and ushers!

Favorite food: Mexican

Favorite hobby: typography

Favorite author: Donald Miller

Favorite places to travel: Kosice, Slovakia; Prague, Czech Republic; and Krakow, Poland

that’s all for now. Next time I blog, I’ll be 28.

I’m so overwhelmed with all kinds of thankfulness and truth. I’m glad to be in this season, where I am, enjoying life, and in many ways so glad for all that God has done in my life so far.

The past month has brought on some hard realities about returning to America - missed out inside jokes, shared experiences, and just a general feel that I was really really gone, and life here went on. It’s harder now than it was when I first returned and I think that’s because the honeymoon phase has faded and I’m now entering into some crazy realities of what you experience as a returned missionary.

But there’s a lot going on in my life, and no one around me denies it. Most understand it and give me grace to live.

I’m getting settled into my new apartment and I’m loving it. I can’t wait to have friends over and make this a home!

This is not coincidence, none of it. I recognize all of this as full provision from Jesus. I’m so thankful and the full reality that I don’t deserve any of this is sweeping over me like a rushing river.

It’s hard to believe that it’s the end of July. I can’t wait to share with you what God did in Serbia! I think it might be explained best through a message from my friend Miska, a student that went with us to Serbia. She writes,

My friend Andrea called me and told me that she was missing me. So I went to see her and we had a sincere conversation and you know what?- she told me she felt a GREAT emptiness inside and didn´t know what to do about it. So I prayed to Lord, that He would prepare me an opportunity to talk to her. Last night I visited her, I told her about how it was in Serbia, I did soularium with her (she liked it a lot) and when she told me that she doubted that her spiritual strength would be strong enough to get her to heaven, I knew I had to go through the gospel with her. We read the booklet together, talked about it… I am so thankful that I could do this with her, I´m praising the Lord! I´m so happy today! She told me she had no one to talk to about such things and she thanked me for beautiful evening she could spend with me. My desire is to continue with these conversations. Oh, I´d like to ask you if you could pray that God would work in her heart and would give her a thirst after His salvation, His Love and His Truth, and also that He would give me His love and wisdom when I am talking to her next time.

Love you Kelly and thank you sooo much for what   I´ve learned with you, for inviting me to Serbia and for all the prayers you´ve prayed for me. I can see God working in my life to such extent, that I know there must be many sincere, loving prayers behind it all. Even though I´ve told you already, Serbia really did change my life!

I’m so thankful that your prayers were answered! God really is moving and working in Slovakia.

back to America!

Being back in America is a little crazy at times, especially during Wal-Mart visits. I am adjusting slowly and really thankful to be back and able to see people again!
I arrived back to America on June 27th and a week later my sister, Kirby got married on the 4th of July! The wedding and reception were beautiful and it was a true joy to be her maid of honor!

up next…

I have traveled to Wilmington a couple of times, to be there again and to see if it’s a place I could see myself living in this phase of life. When I drove into town, I knew immediately -it’s home, and I definitely sense that God wants me in Wilmington again.
At this point, my desire to move away from campus ministry into a different aspect of ministry. So, as of the fall, I will no longer be on staff with Campus Crusade. I will be transitioning into a position with my church in Wilmington.
I have appreciated your love and support of me over these past 5 years as I’ve been in Wilmington and Slovakia. It has been a privilege to see lives changed. Thank you for your prayers and for your diligence in giving.
In the process of this decision, I’ve been most sad about thinking of losing a support team of reliable people that I know love me.
I do want to ask you to continue your giving through the end of October if it is possible for you, in this way I’ll continue to be paid through Crusade in this time of transition. After that point, if you are a direct draft giver, you will need to either email or call crusade to end your draft, 888-CRUSADE or e-mail eft@ccci.org, this will not stop automatically.
I will continue to write on kellycain.com to give updates and to continue to process all that I learned during my stint year, and what I’m learning currently.
To continue to pray for me, you can pray that God would provide a car, a place to live, and growing community in this next phase of life. I am so thankful for your prayers and support!

Last weekend my church (Port City) had it’s first service in the new church building and we were all so humbled by what God has done over the past 9 years to bring us to the point where we are now. Here is a picture that my talented friend Scott took.

Also, I have a few pictures of my Wilmington family, I love the Mixons and am so thankful they allow me to stay with them in their spare bedroom, which they now call, “Kelly’s room.”

I’m really looking forward to my “official” move back to Wilmington. For now, you can pray that I’ll be able to get a car soon - my dad and my uncle, “know a guy” and he’s supposedly on the car hunt for me. It’s just hard in the waiting time - because it’s so unknown. So, please, if you would pray I find one soon. I think it will help with my sanity.

There is more to pray for - but really, more than things or circumstances I need peace and patience. Pray that my heart would be flooded with these things.

I’m so thankful for my friends - everywhere, near and far. Thanks for shaping me, for speaking truth into my life, and for loving me.

i want to give you more of an update - which there is, but i don’t feel like a blog is the best place to post my innermost thoughts and feelings at this point, maybe that will change in the coming weeks.

i’ll continue to say this, please don’t get annoyed. more to come.

here are a few pictures from the wilmington reunion.

What’s more is that I feel like I cheated you on a Serbia update, because it was amazing, God really showed up and brought His A-game. I saw Him work in our students lives and change us all towards stepping out in faith and relying on Him to direct our paths. Being in Serbia, was for me, an excellent time so that I could focus on “being fully there” till the very end. Two days after the Serbia experience, I got on a plane and flew all the way home, with a missed flight in Chicago, and a long runway experience. I guess all of that comes with flying internationally.

Now that I’m home I’m working on wedding stuff for my sister, Kirby, who gets married this Friday! I’m real excited for her. I’m glad to be here to help. It’s been really hard to not be a part of helping her plan because I’ve been overseas.

But, jumping back in is hard, especially this fast. I feel like I don’t know really where I fit, or where I belong - or if I belong anywhere. Things that I remember being so good, aren’t really that good to me anymore. For example, I had a chik-fil-a milkshake the other day (with all of its millions of calories) and I didn’t really even like it. It wasn’t that good, it kind of even made me feel sick to my stomach. The things I thought I missed aren’t really as good as I remembered. It’s funny how distance and time can do that to you. How the good sifts to the top, and you don’t really remember the bad things, or the difficult things.

The most difficult thing I think is the lack of time people have to spend time talking and helping me process through life as -is, I think there is a tendency in all of us to say, “it will all just work out.” But, what if it doesn’t. Or, what if it doesn’t at the speed that you think it will. Maybe this is the hardest.

Hard, but good? I guess so.

Here’s a picture of our group last night, after we arrived back from our 8 day journey.

Last week, I had the chance to get away by going to a friend’s village, it was a great time of relaxation, strawberry picking (for the first time in my life), walks, and a hunting castle with a tea room. It was a great timewith Miska and her family, they were incredibly sweet to have me over for the night.

The ruralness of it all was a bit striking, there were sheep and chickens, and a garden with all types of fruits and vegetables. It felt like something out of a novel. I wanted to capture the animals on video, because I loved watching them and tried to imagine what it would be like with that as my normal.

Something that hit me while I was there was that it was a time that I really seized, I was enjoying the small things, taking delight in saying “baaa” at the sheep. It was then that I realized that time will pass, inevitably, and it’s up to us how we spend our days.

So, I know that I only have about 10 more days on this side of the ocean, I really want to enjoy them, take delight in the fact that God has given them to me, and most of all enjoy Him. So this is my attempt at carpe diem: seize the day, for you non-latin takers.

Enjoy this video from the village.

what i’m going to miss about Slovakia #4: going to a village from Kelly on Vimeo.

6:35 Left my apartment, to start to walk towards the tram stop of the #6 which will carry me to kino druzba (the movie theater I need to go to)

6:41 Tram #2 takes me to the tram #6 stop, I love it when trams time themselves like this

6:47 Tram #6 comes, I get on (tram checkers get on - and you have to show that you’re a legal passenger by presenting your ticket or your month pass, luckily I had returned mine earlier that day from a previous tram checker incident)

7:00 Arrive at Kino Druzba (the movie theater)

7:05 Purchase movie ticket for 99sk ($5)

7:07 Me, trying to figure out the system, because you see there is assigned seating at movie theaters here, I check my ticket - row 11, seat 7

7:10 I’m seated, with no one around, but some Slovak’s are crowded into their rows (I’m thinking, this would never fly in America)

7:15 still no one around and I’m starting to feel a bit like a loser, I’m really by myself at the movies

7:18 a burst of confidence - I’m really doing this. Not just alone at the movies, but alone IN Slovakia at the movies.

7:22 a couple arrives, and sits right beside me, with an entire empty row

7:28 the girl, of the couple, leans over to me to ask, “are you waiting on someone?” and i reply that i am not, she asks me if i can switch seats because they have a friend coming. I’m thinking, no problem, we have an entire empty row, why don’t we just stagger ourselves with 13 seats in between us, that could be an option.

7:29 I’ve moved seats, and I’m talking to this girl,

me -”do you study in Kosice?”

girl - “yes”

me - “what do you study”

girl- “english”

me - “I’m an American and I’ve lived in Slovakia for a year, I’m working and taking Slovak language here”

girl - “oh, I thought no one wanted to come to Kosice”

7:31 movie starts

7:33 a rush of girls floods our row, where clearly there are more girls than there are seats

7:35 i’m standing, we’re trying to figure out who has what seat, in Slovak, i feel out of place but not lonely, no, not lonely

7:40 i’m in my seat tucked between a guy (the friend of the couple that i was cuddling with at 7:22)

7:45 i’m well on my way to enjoying the movie

for the next 2 hours it’s something like this…

couple in front of me making out

couple beside me making out

couple behind me making out (i’m just assuming, i didn’t turn around)

9:50 it’s over, and i made it, so it’s off to the races to catch the tram back

9:55 tram #6 comes to carry me home

10:15 i’m home, back in my apartment, walk in to aaron sitting on the couch, carlyn in her room (door closed on the phone)

this is my life. this is somehow all normal. and it will be over soon and i will be sad.

there were many times throughout the night that i thought about taking video, but then i thought that it might be better explained than seen, sometimes it’s like that.

now, the next morning, i think about what this girl said,

i thought nobody wanted to come here.

i pray, that it’s been a testimony to many Slovaks that we’ve met and ministered to that we wanted to come here and we want them to know Jesus and that’s why i came, not to live in europe for a year (although i love that i can check this off my “things to do before I’m 30″ list, not to travel to cool places (although, that was fun and i got some good pictures). it was all about following God and i hope that it still is - I’m searching my heart on this now, as i’ve processed through the fact lately that “faith is not a feeling.”

]]> http://kellycain.com/blog/2008/06/movie-review-and-heart-check/feed/ http://kellycain.com/blog/2008/06/boat-theology/ http://kellycain.com/blog/2008/06/boat-theology/#comments Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:27:58 +0000 kellycai http://kellycain.com/blog/?p=380 I’m probably no different than you are.

I have a lot of fears, I make a lot of mistakes, and I want people to like me. Yet somehow, I find that writing these things down and placing them here allows for reflection and supplies me with a creative outlet.

Inside of these mistakes, fears, and seeking approval it’s very true that I am “learning to get out of the boat.” With each step I take forward, I find that it’s easier to want to be comfortable and harder to step out and trust. You’ll find laced through these pages stories of conflict, redemption, realizations, and faith. I hope that somehow they bring you hope and that you find a great story being told through it all, what I like to call “boat theology.”

Boat theology relates to Matthew 14:25-33

About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.

This is what you’ll find here, stories of calling out to Jesus, getting out of the boat, doubting, and my response to it all.